Saturday, 22 August 2009

Rant of the month

I’ve had a Victor Meldrew day this week and just thought I’d share it with you all.   I sometimes think I’m changing into the female equivalent of the miserable old so and so of  TV fame but I’m afraid this week proved it!   It started off while I was idly watching GMTV and reading the tic-a-tape thing that runs along the bottom of the screen.   I watched it go round twice because I couldn’t quite believe the producers, or whoever writes the thing, could use the word “got” in two of its pieces.   I cannot remember now what the second one was but the first read something like “the students who got their exam results today”.   Much to Tom’s disbelieve, and I suppose, amusement, I was so incensed I used my mobile to text them to query the standards of GMTV copy writers these days.   Normally I would simply have muttered to myself but as I said I was having a VM day!

It was early and as I did not have to start getting ready for work for a while I decided to go on the internet to look for bras.   It’s only my female friends who would fully appreciate the significance of this remark because only they would know the difficulties I face in my bra buying exploits.   Suffice to say there’s not much choice out there for, shall we say, the ‘more generously endowed’ lady!   Anyway, I’d been in Camille’s at Hornsea so I though I’d check them out.   Found the site easily enough and sure enough, they sold bras on line.   I clicked on bras (they sell all sorts) and put in my size, which I am not going to divulge here, and up popped a page of nursing bras!  Initially I wondered whether they were trying to say something about my size but I came to the conclusion I must have clicked in the wrong place or something.   I tried again.   No, they seemed to definitely suggest that my size warranted only a nursing bra!   By now you could see that Tom was already thinking, oh hell this is going to lead to one of her rants in a minute and quickly suggested I try looking for a smaller bra to see if the same thing happened.   Sure enough, having put in a more modest 34D I was still shown a full range of nursing bras.   Anyone out there needing a nursing bra, I can most definitely recommend this site, they have a wonderful selection!   I gave up but not before sending them an e-mail pointing out the deficiencies in their web site!

Off to work I went but by now I was fully into the rant mode and decided that as soon as I possibly could, work permitting of course, I would contact Orange phone people and sort out my mobile phone.   For some time I’d noticed a little icon on the screen which looked like a very small pair of binoculars.   No idea where it came from or what it signified.   Who thinks up these stupid icons anyway, most look nothing like the thing they are trying to signify.   I had met James earlier and having shown him the “binoculars” he said it indicated I had a voicemail in the system somewhere.   But where, that was a good question.   Honestly, I did try to locate the voicemail thing but with no success, I did find a load of other things which I did not understand though.   I’m not good with mobile phones and mine is an old one simply designed to make and receive telephone calls – it doesn’t cook the dinner as well!   Heaven knows what I could do with one of the new, do everything modern phones, I can barely manage this one!   I was determined though to sort this one out today as those little binoculars were really beginning to annoy me.

Boss was away, office was empty so I eventually located ‘service numbers’ on my phone, pressed the button and fearlessly entered the recorded message, press button whatever hell that we all know so well.   Having gone so far down the route of press button whatever for whatever route it told me that I’d be better off ringing from a land line because I may need the mobile free!   I must admit it’s not easy when you have to take the phone away from your ear to locate the numbers, by the time you get back to it, its half way through what it’s telling you and you’ve missed a vital bit.   I rang again on the land line and went through the interminable press this, that and the other over and over again. Eventually it told me to key in my mobile phone number, which I did and then the stupid recorded message told me to key in my 4 digit code!   What 4 digit code, I’ve never had a 4 digit code!   I ranted down the phone at the machine but of course if did not take any notice of me.   Some time had passed by now and blood pressure was already off the scale.   Undeterred, I decided to go on to their web site and find a telephone number which would hopefully enable me to speak with a person, a live thinking human being.   They don’t give you a telephone number to speak to a person do they.   Oh, no they would not want their customers to be contacting them direct, they much prefer to drive them insane with automatic recordings.   They did offer me a list of “previously asked questions” but I could not find one where someone had asked for an explanation for the little binoculars.   The only number they offered was the one I had just telephoned and I certainly wasn’t prepared to go down that route again!   I stayed on the web site however and eventually found a bit that told me to ring 123 to access voicemail.   Eureka, I immediately dialled in 123 and waited for the long lost, belated message.   After all that, all I heard was a bit of a crackle and a click!   Obviously, someone had thought better of leaving a message.   If it was one of you, better not to let me know, I’m not very fond of that person at the moment!   I have written 123 on the back of my phone now so if you ring and leave a message now, I stand a chance of getting the message.   I did accidentally find the voicemail a very long time ago when I was looking for something else and found a message which was four months old!

Rant over, I feel better now, thank you.

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